One month has gone by and it does not feel real. It has been one month since one of the most influential women in my life left this earth.
I have sat down to write a tribute for my dear Abue, but somehow nothing I would write ever truly expressed what she meant, and still means, to me.
Nothing was ever perfect or even good enough.
This is probably because I never truly thought about what an amazing and dynamic woman Anita Andino was. I mean, I loved her because she was a fantastic grandmother, but really my love for her was deeper than I ever let myself know. I am who I am because of who she was and what she taught me. I am so lucky to have known the love of a grandmother; it is so pure and kind and true. It is not bogged down with the responsibility of parenting. It is the best, most free of loves one can experience. It is a love that gives you immeasurable lessons and joys, one which is without judgement and without reserve. This is not to say the love I have received from my parents is without these qualities, but she gave me something that my parents could not. My parents were full of worry and responsibility, to make sure that I became the very best gal I could be. My Abue just knew I would be the best, because she had done her best to raise my mom and her family. Abue got to sit back and reap the benefits of all her hard work, and I got to enjoy the fun, carefree side of her that my mother probably only saw glimpses of. Abue never had a harsh word for me and never reprimanded me... unless my mom was watching. She had a knack for teaching me life lessons without being preachy. She taught me to knit, cook, bake, sew, and play games; all the while I was enjoying our time together learning new skills, she was busy talking. Talking about hard work, patience, compassion, courage, self-reliance, strength of character, love, the importance of family, spirituality, and loving yourself; really laying the foundation that I have used to become the woman I am. I remember when I was a little girl she lived with us, and this was one of the best times of my life. I shared a room with her and at night I would crawl into her bed, which smelled like Tide, Bounty and Nivea skin cream, and we would chat quietly about my day and about her past, and we would laugh, pray and make plans for the future. It was in these quiet moments that I truly got to know her as a person, not just as my grandmother. I learned of the trials she faced growing up and then as an adult trying to raise a family in Ecuador. I learned about how amazingly creative she had to be to help maintain her family. She was not just going to let my grandfather be the provider; she used her talents to help their family flourish. They were an amazing team and because of this togetherness created such a strong family. I also learned of her suffering, how she loved and hated being sent to a convent boarding school to study as a very young child. She told me so many stories of the nuns and her "hard" lessons, but there she learned so many beautiful poems and songs, and her spirituality was strengthened. She taught me the importance of religion, and never have I met a more devout woman. I admired her for her unwavering faith and love for God even in the face of such tragedies as losing her five year old son, and later her husband. I never met my grandfather but I knew him thru her memories of him; she was so enamored. Her love for him was so deep that after he passed she never looked for love again. Her life was full, she had so many friends and was so very loved by her family. She had an amazing ability to touch lives and draw people to her warmth. Her grace was one of her most admirable qualities; I wish I had that. Don't get me wrong, she was a bulldog too. You did not EVER say a bad word about her family or anyone in her fold of love. If you did, you saw a side that was protective and fierce, but still graceful. I got a double dose of bulldog and not so much of the grace. It was not that my grandmother was blind to our faults, it's just that she knew them well and tried to redirect us, and made sure she glorified our positive attributes. There is so much more that I could say, so many more special moments I could share, but those are mine, and I will keep them in a sacred little place in my heart. I will nurture the love I was given and then pass it on ten-fold to my children, and one day to my grandchildren.
Thank you Abue, for teaching me the "good stuff".
I will keep you alive in my heart, in my children, and in our laughter.
Abuelita, usted fue el caramelito que endulzo mi vida!
